Dear Victoria

By Victoria Howard

Dear Victoria,

I am a forty-year old gay man. My partner and I moved to Boca five months ago from Missoula, Montana. Our careers re-located us here. We were very happy to move to sunny Florida, and escape the cold, snowy winters.

In Missoula, we lived a low-key life and was never criticized or ostracized by friends and the community.

Although we love Florida, our life has been hell since we moved here. People judge us and we are having a hard time at work being accepted by our colleagues. Out in public, if we hold hands or display affection, we are looked upon as if we were some bizarre three-headed monsters.

This has caused some friction and turmoil between Sammy (my partner of fifteen years), and I.

What is your advice? Should we move out of this area, or ignore these prejudicial people?

Gay and proud of it

Dear ‘Gay and proud of it’,

I am sorry that you are having difficult with your lifestyle, here in Boca.  You cannot put all the blame on people here that are judging you.

You have the right to live your life in whichever manner you wish. But displaying affection in public places is bound to attract attention—wherever you may be. If you and your lover can keep your personal life—personal—then I think you will be accepted in a more respectful way.

Although it is 2008, and things have certainly changed in the way people which to live their lives, there will always be people who judge and ridicule others.

I hope you and your partner can make it work here, and see how beautiful Boca is.

There are some wonderful people who live here, who will not judge your lifestyle. Just remember keep your personal lifestyle behind closed doors, and do not flaunt it in public.

Good luck.

Victoria.